One of the hallmarks of leadership in the 21st century is participative team building and problem solving. We have moved from the old top down decision making model to one that allows and encourages everyone’s involvement in the process.
If you are a good leader then you will make sure that everyone has an opportunity to give their opinion and respectfully discuss and even debate the issues so that the best possible solution can be reached. For some people this type of give and take environment comes easy and for others it is very hard to open up and participate.
As a team leader one thing I watch very carefully is when someone starts to take on another team member personally rather than dealing with their ideas. This can be very subtle in the beginning but eventually something is said that really stings.
There is a big difference between I do not agree with what you are saying and here is the reason compared to you are wrong and just don’t get it. Certain people with strong personalities will go after another person when they feel threatened because they know they can intimidate them to back off.
During the meeting when I see this happening I will usually make a point to come back to the person who was attacked and draw them out again. After the meeting, I will go to the person making the destructive comments and make sure they understand that type of behavior will not be tolerated.
After clearly communicating with someone privately and they continue to demonstrate this type of behavior then they will lose their seat at the table and everyone will know why.
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