Its impossible for creative and strong people to work together in a team environment without conflict if they are doing their jobs. These people are passionate and there must be a culture where the truth can be told but where people are not personally attacked. I have been on the wrong end of this stick too many times and these are the things that help me be more effective:
- Own my part of the problem: Even if someone else throws a bomb my way, that does not give me an excuse to throw another one back. If there is conflict, the first question I must ask is where was I wrong and admit it to the team.
- Know when to back off: Once I have clearly and respectively shared my opinion then it is time for me to let it go. If other team members are not jumping in, then I was probably wrong to begin with. Saying something over and over with even more volume does not make it right.
- Listen to understand: A lot of conflict is produced when people are listening to frame up their next argument to support their position. Instead, if we would listen in order to understand the other person, we might not react so strongly at what they are saying.
- Find the win/win solution: One person does not always have to be right and the other person wrong. Many times if our motives are right we can take the best from both and make the end product even better.
Collaboration can be painful and people can be ugly. However, if you own your attitude and you sincerely want whats best for the entire team then magic can repeatedly happen.
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